Take a second to think about it before you jump to say no. Because sometimes ya really just don’t know. I remember watching the movie “Mean Girls” years ago. I have to say — I loved the movie at the time. It made me laugh.

Today, not so much. I watch it with a different eye and a new perspective. Looking back, my kids were still young when the movie debuted and I hadn’t really witnessed mean girl behavior at its finest —

Yet.

I was not a seasoned mother, nor had bully awareness or, as they say, “girlilla warfare” been brought to the forefront.

It was still all kind of hidden- sorta like “grandma’s drinking problem”.

So while ten years ago the tag line “On Wednesdays we wear pink” may have made me chuckle, today it would just make me silently think how thankful I am not to be a teenager anymore.

Thank G-d.

I was one of the lucky ones. 

Growing up, I didn’t encounter many mean girls. I actually have encountered more as an adult than when I was a child — way more.

Way, way, way more.

That’s not to say there weren’t a few scattered here and there back in the day.

But I had a rock solid group of friends, many of which I’m still friends with to this day — one in particular still being a best friend.

But I never followed anyone — ever. Nor had I cared to. I walked to my own beat, much like I do today, never really caring what ANYONE thought of my behavior or me.

Today they call it a nonconformist, non-follower, a maverick, individualist or as I like to refer to it as being “just me.”

I’ve managed to remain that girl and proud of it, and that is exactly how I strive to raise my own children.

What I’ve learned in my life is that some “mean girls” really don’t ever stop being mean. They just grow up to be mean moms with mean kids.

Fact.

Sorry.

I think one of the worst forms of covert mean girl (or boy) behavior is actually what I like to call — exclusion.

As a parent, you should know who your children’s circles of friends are. While we can’t control who they pick to be their friends — we, as parents, have to wonder why different friendships abruptly end for our kids.

We need to ask the important question WHY, and while honoring our children’s answers, delicately teach them what qualities to look for in true lasting friendships down the road. In my opinion, It’s important to teach kids to have a conscience just like they are taught math or science. They should need to understand how social pecking order works, how they can act differently and how to rise above it.

We all know girl behavior is as temperamental at 8 as it is at 48. It’s the nature of the beast. We women/girls are moody, emotional, sensitive, catty — the list goes on and on.

But the good ol’ saying about the Queen Bees and the Wannabes holds true at every age. Rosalind Wiseman, the author of that book wrote it best.

Today, I’m coining a new term for another form of bee — it’s the bee that doesn’t want to lead, yet has no desire to follow. That bee is called the “let it bee,” and I’m not referring to John Lennon’s song from 1970.

The “let it bee” flutters around doing her own thing, and she doesn’t get caught up in the “bee littling” behaviors of the queen bees and the wanna bees. This is because the “let it bee” recognizes that while she may have the power to sting others, she chooses not to because it would hurt them. And the “let it bees” aren’t about hurting others. They just want everyone to bee happy.

It really is sad for me to see how being mean is passed down from generation to generation. Children model their parents’ behavior, and the greatest form of teaching/learning gets turned on its head.

News flash, mommies —

– It’s not okay to support exclusion; – It’s not okay to leave kids out even if your child wants to; – It’s not okay to turn a blind eye to your child’s social media activity; – It’s not okay for your child to be mean to other children; – Lastly, and most importantly…

It’s not okay that you don’t already know this.

In a world that has turned truly mean, let’s all try our best to kindness and pray it’s contagious.

Until next week, Love,

Ok, let me reword it a little better…

 

Have you ever woken up one day only to realize that the certain special feeling you had for someone or something was just gone?

 

Basically, you just lost that loving’ feeling?

 

I’m about to age myself… but the Righteous Brothers used to sing a song exactly about that.

 

I mean we’re talking a total disengagement as if the connection had just disappeared—almost like a David Copperfield magic trick.

 

“Poof”!

 

Kinda crazy, right?

 

Wait, is David Copperfield even a thing anymore?

 

I’m pretty sure only my generation remembers him.

 

Anyway, this phenomenon happens to a lot of people and in all transparency I’m not even sure it’s a phenomenon.

 

We might just be better off labeling it as a collateral effect of life.

 

For starters, it’s a fact that negative emotions and feelings build up in our delicate little psyches gradually and sometimes we don’t even recognize that it’s happening.

 

Take this for example…

 

Did you ever play ‘Don’t Break the Ice’ as a child?

 

If you did, then you know what I’m talking about.

 

I know, I know, every sentence more in this blog just ages me quintessentially…

 

But anyway, back to the topic…

 

The game’s premise is that eventually the ice breaks when enough cracking and pressure is applied.

 

Simple enough.

 

Obviously, you know that this stands as a metaphor for relationships, right?

 

Relationships, friendships, and connections are the same way.

 

They are sensitive and can begin to sour, like milk, for all sorts of reasons.

 

But here’s the clincher…

 

I think this happens when you ignore the build up (otherwise known as relationship plaque. I coined the term, btw), poorly communicate your feelings, and turn your head to all the red and pink flags.

 

By the time you’re ready to pay attention–the connection feels too distant to save.

 

“Danger, danger, run Will Robinson”.

 

The law of “Energetic Exchange” is based on the notion that the amount of energy and time you put into any connection or relationship, is equal to what you get back from it.

 

When that exchange is not equal, the connection for one or both people can be easily lost.

 

There are 4 laws of energetic attraction:

*We attract who we are.

*Intuition clarifies smart choices.

*Seeing the best in people magnetizes them.

*Soulful giving generates abundance.

 

Essentially, we all evolve at different paces. If you are spiritual, you will agree, that the universe brings connections in and out of our lives as learning tools.

 

In order for any connection to stay alive, it needs two people to be on the same page while putting in the same amount of energy towards each other.

 

Alas, thereby causing the “energetic exchange” to be in effect.

 

We’ve all had many connections in our lives that all of a sudden just don’t feel right for us anymore.

 

Sometimes those connections just need to have the plug pulled on them because they no longer serve us in a healthy way.

 

Ba and bye.

 

I think we could all use those ‘moments in time’ to detox our negative connections with the people who we no longer want in our lives and no longer serve us on a higher level.

 

I’m not saying to do this to be malicious; I’m saying it to be authentic. Sometimes the meter on that particular relationship has just expired—even if it’s just for that moment.

 

Many times, connections are reconnected, when two people are at the same energetic place down the road.

 

I’ve had many friendships go south (and I don’t mean to Florida) only to come back and thrive years later.

 

Staying connected is not as simple as AT&T would like you to believe. It takes real effort and a willingness to be open and available to that special someone or something.

 

Respect your intuitions about relationships and connections. 

 

And always remember… some connections are meant for a season, others a reason and for the lucky ones– an entire lifetime.

 

Until the next reveal,

Love,

Karin

Do you live with regret? Do you look back continuously on your past and think to yourself how and why you could have done such a thing?

It’s interesting how we get so mad when others hurt us, but yet we psychologically torture our own selves daily with rehashing the past and ways we could have done it differently or “better.”

I believe we all have choices in life, and I also believe that the choices we make are the choices that are right for us at that exact time we make them. Good, bad, or indifferent — it’s these choices that teach us what we need to learn and take us to a new level if we allow them to.

There are very few decisions that I truly regret in life. Sure, there are a few things that if I could have done them a little differently, I’m sure I would have. But when those thoughts start to creep into my head, I realize, rather quickly, that I have grown from those exact decisions and choices.

So in the end…those decisions that we may think we could have done differently are actually our greatest life lessons and needed to be done precisely in that same exact way in order to get to where we are today.

When you make life decisions, try very hard to make them with your future mind. Try to think to yourself, “How will this affect me in five weeks, five months or five years?”

I meet people daily that are living in a state of perpetual remorse, focused on only looking back at the past. Their regret is so deep and so encompassing that they cannot live life in the present. Instead of growing from their past decisions, they get stuck in them and are unable to move

forward in their lives.

Dr. Wayne Dyer writes about anger and regret and letting go. He likes to compare regret and anger to the likes of a snake bite. He explains that no one ever dies from the bite itself – but rather from the venom that goes throughout one’s body. Metaphorically, that venom is called regret. It is regret that leads to anger and anger that leads to sickness.

When we make the same mistakes twice – that’s okay, too. That just means we are still learning and haven’t quite gone to the next level. I find that people are way too hard on themselves. We all make mistakes – and sometimes we make them over and over again. (Actually, that’s the definition of insanity, but we are all a little bat sh*t crazy, right?)

The point is to enjoy the journey, grow from our choices, and be thankful for what we have now.

I teach my children how to be grateful each day. Finding gratitude is not always easy, but it’s a great way to feel better when you feel regret or anger taking over your mind.

Life is challenging to all of us. It can be hard, hurtful, boring, unpredictable, unfulfilling, scary, et cetera. I could go on and on.

We all experience twists and turns that are unforeseen and unexpected. Not one of us is exempt.

The challenge is to rise from these twists and turns and not let them contribute to the outcome of your life.

I know it seems hard to put these things into practice – and

believe me when I say I am not an expert and I fall on my ass daily – but the key is to see where life takes you, confidently, without regrets!

That’s my reveal.

Love,

Karin